You Cannot Meditate Wrong: Releasing Trauma Bonds with Yourself

There are moments when its like navigating the hang ups of being human is so clear. Bliss. Understanding and truth. Life is good and divinity is dope. There are moments of transcendence.

There are moments, too, when life is a bit crap.

When you're just feeling it and there's not a lot to do about but feel it.

Maybe you're crying. Maybe it is not working out like you thought it would. The physical world has a funny way of diverging from the way we thought it would go.


Do you ever hit creative blocks? Or...more like, do you ever have moments where you are the creative block? As in you are blocking your own creativity with your own judgement or drive for perfectionism?


Ram Dass, a big name amongst kundalini students, said “I can do nothing for you but work on myself...you can do nothing for me but work on yourself”


In yoga, there are the teachings known as Shatkriyas (or Shatkarmas). These are the six actions.


A set of physical purifications. They are very earth based and are a process of cleansing in order to prepare the physical body to move towards moksha (liberation). Please try not to interpret the word "purification" as if to not perform these actions renders a person "impure". That is not the case.


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Do you ever think to yourself "Am I meditating wrong?"


Lately, I've been asking myself:


"What is the point of holding a practice if the absence of that practice has the potential to make a person feel guilty?"


I ask myself this because I have noticed a theme amongst some people I have had the pleasure of working with. Sometimes a student will register, and then cancel, and then register again and then cancel again.


Over and over again they will apologize to me.


It is something that happens amongst friends as well. Making plans, cancelling, making them again, backing off, rescheduling.


Its as if we're all suckers for self-deprecation in minute dosages. Actually, it's not "like" that at all. It is trauma bonding -- it is addiction to the chemical make up of the life we have learned to live. Be it as children, be it as young adults or in traumatic scenarios. It is easy to begin looping back to fear, shame, guilt and all of those heavy feelings. We are used to that hormonal make-up, and so, we create scenarios where we are able to satisfy that unconscious, but conditioned, urge.


Click here to read an excellent by Dr. Patrick Carnes on Trauma Bonds


This can be done by looping on sentences or thoughts ("What if I don't have enough of this...", "What if they think that..." etc.)


We can satisfy this addiction to trauma chemicals and neurological loops through setting goals and then missing them. We create scenarios where we are able to feed the narratives that "we are doing it wrong" -- that "we are wrong".


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Why am I talking about the Shatkarmas and cyclical guilt? What does the six actions of purification have to do with creating ways of feeling bad, or as if we didn't do enough?


Well, its like this -- this morning, inspiration dawned on me while I let the water of the shower wash over my skin.


Celebrate what you do show up for.

A shower is the purification of the pores -- it allows for prana to exchange freely between the physical world and your interior self.


So what if you ate a bit of ice cream on Monday night when you swore you would start a diet Monday morning? Choose to forgive yourself -- get busy focusing on something other than what creates those chemicals of stress and sadness.


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There is a term that I became familiar with when I first began looking into my bloodline's history. I was studying what would be called "paganism" -- this one book discussed the relevance of "eclecticism".


Eclecticism being "the practice of deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources."


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I don't care how you show up for your life. I don't care what fills you up.

But I do care that you find the things that make you feel good.

I care that you find the things that you can celebrate throughout your day.


This is why I, personally, love mantra. I love to understand the words that I am singing and materializing a concept through vibration. I can chant at any time.


This is why I, personally, love to burn rosemary.


This is why I, personally, love to feel goosebumps start from my head and climb down my back. This is why I, personally, love to learn about cultures of old and the myths and legends, this is why I love to lay down on moss, or stare into the crevices and cracks of a stone that fits in my palm.


It's all the same.


"I" love these things because these are all what it is to centre myself right here. Right now. These are the things that honour the moment and that is what presence is. Being right here.


Fall in love with the moments. Accept each moment -- I mean, each and every moment -- as a communication between yourself and what you believe in.


And life becomes the practice. With each little breath. There is no division between a single cell and the what is divine.


What is one.

Life is the experience.

We are the archetypes.


Every cell in your body is determined by consciousness first. As in, the state of a cell is determined by consciousness. It is quantum physics. And I am not an expert but there is a

incredible work taking place in the science community right now. I've shared this book in the past, but if you are interested in learning more about where we are headed as far as our understanding of the physical and energetic world goes -- I would recommend this book to start. You can purchase by clicking the image to the right. I will receive a small percentage of the sale from Amazon and I definitely appreciate anyone making purchases through link recommendations on this blog.


You are a community of cells. Not just a single individual. You are made up of trillions of cells that function, intricately and minutely together. Just like an ecosystem. As synergistic as the Amazon, as deep and intentional as the Boreal.


The cell phone and electricity, too, is a community of cells The tree out your window is a community of cells

The air you breath is a community of cells

The earth itself and all her seas

A community of cells

Including you

Period.



How do you want to honour that? Basically, anything goes. A shower can be your practice. You just have to decide that it is so.


I've recently updated the registration portal for online students -- everything is by donation, and meditation and chakra practice is designed specifically for you 1-on-1.


Have a gorgeous day.

403-636-1679

Calgary, Alberta, Canada